Silence
by nothing-chan
Summary: :HetaOni: Getting out of the mansion was hard, living afterwards was harder, getting used to the silence was the hardest.


It was silent.

Too silent

There were no sounds of lumbering footsteps dragging through the hall, no faint sniffles and sobs in the middle of a warm, dark room, overlooked by every other sleeping person too wrapped in their dreams of freedom to hear, no creaking floorboards and chattering teeth, no squish of blade inserting into skin or bones cracking against the wall mercilessly.

There were no sounds of death anymore, and that's what bothered Japan, it was so silent.

A bird trilled outside, distant and soft, signaling the end of a day. The black haired nation shifted on his folded knees, scraping the warm mug of tea in his hand across the table, anything to end the silence. A buzzing noise made him jump in quiet surprise, pushing himself to a stand and smoothing his leaf green yukata and shuffling toward the door.

Upon opening it, he was greeted by the straight tooth grin of America, England and Canada quietly slouched behind him.

"Japan!" He openly hugged the other, not deterred when he received no response other than an awkward cough. "Cool outfit! I hope you have one for me like you promised!" Japan nodded, stepping out of the way to allow his guests inside.

"Certainly, they are arranged in the room to the right; please pick out whichever you'd like." America punched the air with his tan fist, simultaneously kicking off his floppy sneakers and putting on a pair of too small slippers arranged neatly by the door.

"Righteous!" He disappeared into the mentioned room and Japan let out an audible sigh, shoulders tense.

"I'm sure he won't break much, he's been more careful as of late," Japan turned around to smile at England, though stopped himself, realizing it was pointless.

"Ah, England, thank you for coming as well," He bowed to the country, receiving a shaky look in return, before turning to Canada. "You too Canada, I know you two must be swamped with work upon your return." The blonde shrugged good-naturedly, removing his shoes, all while keeping a strong hold on England's arm.

"We all promised we'd do this, besides, it's good to relax once in a while. Your house is so peaceful," Canada bent down and began to untie England's shoes for him but flinched back when the other nation pulled away hastily.

"I-I can do it myself…" England's hands searched for his feet as he bent down and attempted to find his shoelaces, but only succeeded in patting the ground around. Japan threw Canada a worried look, but Canada merely sighed as if he had dealt with this too many times before. He grabbed onto England's wandering hands and placed them onto his shoes, letting the impaired nation do the rest himself.

"Ah…thank you," England removed his shoes but still held onto Canada for support, the red tint in his cheeks signaling his slight embarrassment.

"Well, please come in," Japan gestured into his house, but Canada stopped him before he could go any further.

"Oh, I almost forgot, here are the gifts we promised," He reached behind himself and produced 3 bags, each a different sparkling color.

"Oh my, thank you very much," Japan humbly received the gifts, setting them to the side where they would soon be joined by the others presents.

As Canada was helping England step into a pair of slippers, the doorbell rang again, this time revealing Russia and China.

"Hello, glad you could make it," Japan took their gifts and showed them the yukata room, continuing to intercept the flow of guests and presents, not noticing the silence any more.

Next came Prussia, France, and Spain, each carrying gifts in shapes that did not appear appropriate in the least. Japan set those in the far back, hoping everyone would accept they were lost, and opened the door for Germany to enter a few minutes later, exasperated his brother had left after him yet somehow arrived earlier. Much beer was gathered in the dining room; many yukatas were put on and taken off, everyone crowding Japan for advice on how to arrange the foreign clothes. It took Japan a while to realize the silence again, to realize why it was so silent, and to realize who would be standing behind the door when it buzzed again.

No one else seemed worried, all cracking open bottles now, clinking them together and claiming sleeping spots. Japan opened the door slowly, hesitantly believing the Thing would jump out instead of who was there, pale and wide-eyed.

"Italy, Romano, I am glad you have arrived," Italy smiled, Romano didn't, both brothers stark against the utter blackness of night.

"Sorry we're so late Japan! Romano burnt the pizza so we had to start over and-"

"Hey! It wasn't all my fault!"

Same sing-songy voice, same chubby cheeked smile, but no hug. Japan could say he was happy, personal space was something he rarely ever agreed on with western nations, but it was hollow without it, and he couldn't lie and say he didn't like the warm arms that had been so incessantly annoying before.

"This way, everyone is already here." He blocked it out, the silence, and let himself be surrounded by the noise of countries laughing and singing and dancing with each other, but that too fell to the silence upon his arrival.

As soon as the door slid to reveal the Italian to everyone else, the noise died out. One would have expected Romano to yell, but he was completely quiet, arm secretly clinging to his brother. Italy was smiling again, but it was empty, hollow, barren, silent.

"H-Hi everyone, sorry we're late…" Monotone, no fluctuation of voice except for a simple stutter. England leant over and whispered something into America's ear, making the boy pull a face and stand up.

"Hey Italy! Romano! Cool you guys made it. Boy are you slow or what!" Still no reaction from the hot-tempered twin, making everyone slightly uncomfortable. France spoke up, setting down his glass with a clink.

"Come here Ita, sit next to big brother, we're about to open presents," He pat the ground next to him and Italy eyed it warily at first, but then smiled, crossing the room to sit on the bamboo ground. This eased everyone's tension, shoulders relaxing and limbs stretching in relief. Romano went and wordlessly took a seat next to Spain, chewing his lip like a kindergartener.

"I-I'll go get the gifts," Japan excused himself, fetching the presents, and returning to a hushed silence.

"Mine first!" America said, shoving a flamboyant blue bag into Japan's hands. The small country reached in and pulled out a spatula, its tag claiming it the best burger flipping tool in the world. The whole room let out an audible sigh at the clichéd gift, making Italy laugh in a random sparkle, his voice tinkling an inch above everyone else's, close to shattering the silence.

Gift unwrapping was uneventful, but it made everyone forget about the silence, and ignorance is bliss. So was beer and food, so Japan excused himself to the kitchen with China to prepare a late dinner for them all.

There was the silence yet again, overcrowding the two people in the room as they peeled fresh cucumbers and steamed white rice. It was like a bulldozer of nothing rolling over them at the slowest speed possible, an inkling of pain here and there, a death that wouldn't come fast enough.

"You've noticed it to Japan?" China's voice was a knife through the silence and Japan dropped the carrot in his hands.

"I'm afraid I'm not sure what you are talking about," Shaky voice, always the sign of a lie, but he covered it up by coughing into his sleeve.

"The quiet, it seems so quiet now…" China was staring into a tea kettle as if it was telling his future, and Japan wondered if it was.

"Nonsense, listen to them, they are being much too loud." They listened, and they could hear Romano yelling and Prussia laughing but most of all they heard silence from the one person they should be hearing most.

Japan excused himself from the room until he heard the tea kettle whistle and the rice cooker signal its completion.

"Everything looks delicious you two!" Canada commented as the food was being lain out on the table. Indeed it did, everyone had brought something, along with the food China and Japan had just prepared. It was a feast made for kings, so they feasted as such, stuffing themselves until there was nowhere else to stuff the food. They had not been properly nourished in how long? Living off of rice and beer they missed all of the food they once ate on a daily basis, making them into delicacies one only dared to enjoy. But now it was all in front of them, creating a mad dash for anything and everything.

An eating contest had broken out between America and Prussia, the former winning naturally. Prussia fell backwards, stretched stomach poking out beneath his yukata, groaning about after meal pains. Everyone else was in a similar state, tummy's full and minds full of silence.

Once even America was full, the party reclined in the room lazily, breaking off into subgroups of conversation. It was a dull roar of chuckles and the wiring of a fan overhead, churning the topics around the room. Peaceful and content, Japan watched from his spot next to Prussia as Romano and Spain both slid into a siesta, leaving Italy awake alone to stare at the stars outside. The raven haired country began to get up to approach him but Italy jumped up, ill-fitting yukata tangling around his feet.

"Hey Japan, can we check out the hot spring?" A silent smile to protect himself from whatever conversation might have ensued. Emotional cowardice hidden behind the agreements and calls of other people, all filing out of the room and into the cold night air.

The hot spring was only a few feet away, but it seemed to be taking longer than that, some drunk, some intoxicated at not being alone for the first time in so long. A fumbled removing of clothes left discarded rudely on the floor, and they were all piled inside a warm pool of liquid relaxation, heads bobbing and smiles growing.

Outside there was a lot to fill the silence, along with the growing warmth of alcohol. Some might have sworn they even heard England laugh, tittering and light as his hands shook underneath the clear pool. Italy was spiking Germany's hair, the blonde country blinking in annoyance as water dripped into his blue eyes.

Peaceful, calm, silent, but not for long.

"Shhhh…" Russia said after a while, and everyone stopped, breath quieting as an overwhelming quiet began to grow.

"What is it?" China whispered, annoyed and sinking into the pool to escape the silence and crawl back into his ignorance.

"That's it, there's no difference." It was weird and morose, and America brushed it off with a laugh like a voice crack, but everyone knew he was right. There was no difference. They were carved and silent like the night's ringing assault on your ear drums, all missing that one thing they didn't know they had before.

Everyone left the hot spring after that, crawling into bed in their assumed positions. Japan turned out the light and let the moonlight guide him back to his spot next to Italy and China, curling in on himself and keeping as far away from everything as he could.

He must have lain there in the silence for years until Italy moved and slid his hand into his.

"Italy, what are you…" Germany's voice carried over but Italy shushed him into silence. Japan felt the heat radiating in his palm and waited for something to happen, something else other than overwhelming truth and silence.

"It's so quiet anymore…" Germany tsked and rolled over to face the other two, hand still holding Italy's small one.

"That's because everyone is asleep," Before Japan could agree, Italy vehemently objected, head thrashing against the pillow as he shook it.

"No, no it's never been this quiet!" His whisper startled someone awake and their snoring stopped, causing the disturbed sleeper to roll over and drift back away into silence again. None of the three spoke and somewhere in the distance a baby cried, a universe was created, and someone lost their life.

"I'm scared…" Italy whispered into his pillow, shoulders tensing.

"Why?" Japan breathed, already knowing the answer, but at least it filled the silent hole.

"What if we didn't win… what if I didn't do it right…" Germany grabbed onto the boy's shoulder and turned him over to face him, eyes harsh in the darkness.

"What are you talking about? We got out alive Italy, you saved everyone, and we're all here." Italy shook his head, throat closed tight in mucus and tears.

"N-No that's not… what I meant…"

"What, what did you mean then Italy?" Japan questioned, velvet voice pressuring and guttural now, wanting to know, wanting to hear what would finally fill the silence.

"What if it won…?" A flower bloomed, a sun rose, a war was started before Italy continued. "Yeah we killed it… but did it kill us too? Did I still ruin everything?" The answer was no obviously, everyone was breathing and walking and living, but neither Japan nor Germany could find the words to say in the silence that finally snapped around them like a rubber band stretched too far and pulled too tight. Italy was openly letting the tears soak into his pillow, trying not to drown as he spoke again.

"Where is the laughing and music and love? How come there hasn't been any of that since we got out? Why does everything feel so dead all the time?" Again, there was no answer to give other than nothing and silence.

"If we won, then why is it so silent?"

* * *

_Hello._

_I was playing HetaOni today and man does that game mess me the fuck up. I think the most horrible part about it for me is when it's just quiet, and you're wandering the halls as Japan or anyone really, just opening doors, hoping the silence isn't interrupted by Steve. That or when they play really freaky noises like doors slamming and heavy footsteps._

_I've always wondered, will the game end likes how AoOni does? I hope not. In any case, I don't think the HetaOni universe would be a happy one no matter what ending you have. Too much drama, too much death, too much PTSD to continue a normal life._

_I hope you enjoyed and look out for Steve._


End file.
